Bridesmaids -_-

....I watched this upon recommendation of a friend...he is no longer my friend...he is now demoted to acquaintance status AND I'M ONLY AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER THE FULL TWO HOURS.

The only thing worse than this PIECE OF SHIT is THE HOLOCAUST...and who knows what will happen after the full two hours.

I cannot express to you how glad I am that I didn't spend a dime on this movie even the bandwidth I spent on downloading doesn't matter because I'm just about to enter into a new bandwidth cycle so those gigs would have gone unused anyways...I'm serious I cannot express to you how much this movie sucks that son of a BITCH that recommended this to me said it was funnier than Hangover...FUNNIER THAN HANGOVER...now I'm recommending that he gets "special needs" written on his ID cards.

This just proves my point that Hollywood will pump out any shit that comes along there way...next time your in town just give a film producer a script filled with racial slurs and in the front write "a true story of inspiration and perspiration" and instant success. The sad part is this is one of the few original ideas they've gotten for a long time and it could have been really funny but nooo they filled it with all sorts of feminine sex jokes HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE ONLY FUCKING PEOPLE THAT FIND THOSE SHITTY JOKES FUNNY ARE LESBIANS....and even then it's only the really butch ones

"oh we have sex constantly but he hasn't kissed me in 5 years" THATS BECAUSE YOU LOOK HOMICIDAL remove the murderous grin from your face and maybe he'll give you a peck or two...

At precisely 32 minutes before the movie ends the main bitch says "I'd rather get murdered out here than spend the next half hour with you" and I thought...wow this screen writer really knows how the audience is feeling

But I guess I should get to the plot of this horrible disgrace for an anything...some girl gets engaged main bitch gets jealous and ruins her own life forever...and at some point a fat chick shits in a sink (which btw was the highlight of the fucking movie)...if it wasn't for that fat chick I would find the name of that screen writer...make a voodoo doll out of him and then find him and SHOVE IT DOWN HIS THROAT so the voodoo doll finds it's way into his stomach and he would DIE BY BURNING IN HIS OWN STOMACH ACID

The only other acceptable part of this HORRIBLE WASTE OF TIME, SPACE, AND WHATEVER OTHER LIMITED RESOURCES I CAN FIT INTO THIS UNNECESSARY SENTENCE is the cop dude who's sweet and awesome and reminds me of me when I'm not cynical but then the main bitch BREAKS HIS FUCKING HEART and reminds me why I became cynical in the first place MOTHER FUCK HER THEN SHE HAS THE BALLS TO GO AND APOLOGIZE WELL FUCK YOU...YOU AND YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR MOTHERS MOTHER AND ALL OTHER MOTHERS THAT ARE IN YOUR FAMILY TREE

(also I would just like to say fuck the OPSEU you sons of bitches get off the picket line and get back to your fucking easy as shit jobs and mail my transcripts to my university of choice....that is all)

Now excuse me while I continue to rewatch season 6 of How I Met Your Mother because I can't afford Prozac.

Kick it [pelvic thrusts],
Asaya HelwaEhwee