Well it's almost the big day till I fly off to a far away land to a world where monsters rule (monsters rule) by far away land I mean China....I'll be leaving on the 2nd of November for 27 days). I have to be honest I'm scared....not of terrorists, or any of that jazz no no just of good old airport security, you see I haven't been on a plan since I was 7 (I'm 19 now) and after September 11, air travelling has gotten to be a bitch for someone of my skin colour...you see my nationality is...Egyptian *GA-GA-GASP* and even whilst I sport a crucifix on my neck, I can't help but give off a terroristy aura
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| Please tell me you saw this joke coming.... |
...for anybody working in airport security I'M NOT A TERRORIST I'M SEVERELY AFRAID OF HEIGHTS THE LAST THING I WANT TO HAPPEN IS THAT PLANE TO FALL PLEASE DON'T SUSPECT ME now that we've gotten the disclaimer out of the way...home land security is at my door so I have to go get that brb...
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| C'mon guys can't we talk this out...no...*sigh* alright I'll spread my cheeks |
You know it's funny I've always wanted adventure (like a DIGIDESTINED YA!) and to travel and all that but I'm scared out of my fucking mind, maybe it's cause I'm gonna be with my whole Dojo so it's a bit intimidating I'd rather go with a small group of my closest friends (me and my cat?) but whatever I'll manage the part you guys have to know is that I won't be able to update my blog for the time I'm there you see China has blocked facebook and youtube and apparently the government tracks communications (apparently) so I wouldn't be able to write this blog honestly with someone looking over my shoulder so I'll try to write in as documents, and I'll update this when I get back with plenty of landscape photos (cause I can't have people in my photos cause they made me sign something -_-....not the Chinese government btw)
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| There's only 7 of them...I'M TRAVELING WITH 21 PEOPLE |
Hmm maybe it's because of some of the pain in the ass rules that we have "no check in baggage" do you know what the requirement for a carry on is in Canada in terms of weight? 22 pounds that's not bad...you know what it is in a domestic flight to China....11 pounds WHAT THE FUCK HOW IN THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY A MONTH WORTH OF SUPPLIES IN JUST 11 FUCKING POUNDS I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THE 4TH DIMENSIONAL POCKET PACKAGE WHEN I BOUGHT MY FUCKING BAG....I'VE TAKEN SHITS THAT WE'RE BIGGER THAN 11 POUNDS THIS IS BULLSHIT...to give you an idea of how small 11 pounds is...you know how in Monster Ranchers the kid went into the Monster World with just his roller blades (or something like that) well if I pack my roller blades and only my roller blades I GO 15 POUNDS OVER THE LIMIT THIS IS BULLSHIT...I'm currently weighing the bag in at 17 pounds without a bunch of shit that I didn't have at the time of the mock packing....FUCK...it's gonna be like the Biggest Loser only with more tears...I'm gonna have so much booze in China just to forget the fact that I'm standing there in the nude because I couldn't pack any clothes
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| He's also on the trip.... |
But also I bought a new camera (because my old one broke more than a year ago...fuck you Olympus) it's a Sony Cybershot and I'll be doing my first product review on it!...am I going to get sued? OH WELL ^_^
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| It's going to be like Pokemon Snap except without the pokemon!....T_T |
Maybe I'm going into this trip with a negative attitude but we'll see how it turns out my main goal is to get my first kiss whilst in China...and return home in on piece...and not die...but seriously this kiss thing is important to me (and fuck you guys for laughing at it this is a noble quest for lo-li-slight physical attraction...AND SLIGHT PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS WHAT I'LL GET) I don't know how I'm gonna go about it I'm still to much of a chicken shit to hit on women but I'll find a way (sexual harassment laws are considerably lower in China....SCORE!!!...am I going to be sued?)
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| "COME AT ME BRO!" |
Alright we'll that's it I think wish me luck and if you see a little Egyptian boy in China on the news...thats me ^_^ Good bye for now.
Wanna be the biggest dreamer something something something ala something something something something takamikanooooooo,
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